In memoriam
I attended the memorial service of a dear old family friend this week – old as in age and length of time known – and it gave me pause to ponder on Life and the Important Things…
One of my earliest childhood memories is the occasion of the birth of the last child of this dear friend, also Pamela Mary (and I like to think it had a bearing on our association). It was a home birth, just a few houses away in Clovelly, and the children of the neighbourhood were excitedly gathered at the window to see the new baby – on invitation, of course. It was a memorable occasion for a 6-year-old, and possibly a reason for my naming my own daughter after little Katherine Mary some 20 years or so later.
This genteel lady was as bright as a button to the end of her long life, but the body could not keep up, one of the things that makes old age so uncertain – will the mind fail or the body, or both? My own mother was very concerned that her mind would fail and so refused heart surgery in later life; she never showed signs of mind fail, but it was her decision, and she declared herself ready to go after a long and very happy life with Dad. Pamela Mary was a lifelong friend of my parents and has now joined them in what I can only imagine is a great union of like souls, and it brings to mind that we are now the older generation, with no-one looking after us now. Will we leave behind a legacy such as our parents did? – the eulogies reminded me that time waits for no man, and we do not always make the best use of it. Too much time is taken up with focusing on your own life and suddenly it is too late to spend time with those whose company would have enriched it. Her family never fell into that trap, always aware of the special qualities of their mother and ensuring that their families grew up knowing her so well. It is a great sadness for me to have not spent more time with her over the last 60 years, but also a privilege to have worked alongside her in some of her charity work many years ago.
We should remember to remember the old. Ask them lots of questions and listen to their stories. They have so much to offer. We will be there soon and will want someone to ask us questions and listen to our stories.
On the bright side, I was able to reconnect with childhood friends and realise that our parents shared the same fine qualities and taught us all the same values and enthusiasm for life – a link that binds us all no matter how seldom we meet!
I will lift mine eyes up unto the hills… Rest peacefully, Pamela Mary.
